so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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