i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I seem to have left my pride at pride
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
