I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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