Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
