On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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