Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I wish you could order shots online.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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