Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
