I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You know, be my cock's hype man.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
