watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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