ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
