Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
