I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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