I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
