is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
What a dumb baby whore.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
