You surviving the open bar?
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I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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