also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
