stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize