Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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