Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
