You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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