Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Randomize
