I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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