Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize