Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
