Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize