...so i touched it.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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