Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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