so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My liver just broke up with me...
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
