That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
