I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
