you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
