Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
