is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
