so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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