I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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