Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
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Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
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As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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