Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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