I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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