if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize