i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
