I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
