I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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