She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
