I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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