forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
this will be a night to untag.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
