whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
