Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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