If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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