Umm I'm too high to move.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
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i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
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Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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