he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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