I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My Sexting was not on an AP level
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
