the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
