Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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