I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
