Screwed.edu
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
