It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
