We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
