Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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