I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
