MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
