how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
