Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
