in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
