I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Alive.
So much puke
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
